22 Responses for "폭탄영어 #15 – Being a Lesbian in Korea"

1. Jimmie May 10th, 2008 at 3:24 am 1

   What a great episode. As an American with Korean roots, I always appreciate any insight I can get into daily Korean life. The subject matter on this one was particularly interesting since it’s so taboo. I’d say part of the reason for the lacking gaydar skills in Korea is due to the over-effeminization of Korean males. Throws everything off.

2. Jennifer May 10th, 2008 at 7:31 pm 2

   I’m not sure I agree.
   What counts as “masculine” and “feminine” in each culture vary, and things that Westerners, particularly Americans view as effeminate aren’t here. And I don’t think that Koreans are confused over what’s “manly” and what’s not. They just overall have a different perception of what that means. Also, not all gay men are effeminate anyway. I know some gay men who don’t at all fit the limp-wrist stereotype . . . and lots of lesbians who aren’t the least bit butch.

3. ROK Drop Weekly Linklets - 11MAY08 May 11th, 2008 at 9:43 am 3

   [...] on Korean TV. More here. – If you came to Korea for nookie, you may be disappointed. – Find out if Korea really does have gay people. – Is there multiculturalism in Korea? – Make sure to check out DPRK Forum’s first ever [...]

4. Jennifer May 13th, 2008 at 3:03 pm 4

   . . . wow, I figured this one would get more comments.

5. Michael May 13th, 2008 at 3:43 pm 5

   Perhaps it’s a bit of a touchy issue? Or people not really having much in particular to say? Hmm. Another side of me thinks that perhaps there are some people who still feel uncomfortable about this subject or even some negative feelings, but are too polite to say something publicly? Just wondering…

6. AncientGoose May 13th, 2008 at 6:06 pm 6

   Oops, Sorry for making a comment a little late.
   Mike,
   It’s not because that there are little listeners to this pod cast, but there have been many holidays!! (Where have been? They RAN AWAY and just came back!!!)

   Again, I would like to thank you Mike, Jennifer, Especially So-ha.

   As you announced earlier in the off-line meeting that the next episode would be on the gender issues, I looked forward to listening to the episode and really enjoyed the show.

   Well, during the holidays, I had several things to think about. First, on the feedback issue; generally, to say something or to make a comment on LGBT issues in Korea is somewhat unfamiliar and new to Koreans. As for me, it took me a while to figure out the words like ‘LGBT, being straight etc.’ This is probably why I am the 3rd. who made a comment on this episode.

   And So-ha, I could understand what you’re saying (esp. as a owner of the café) in the episode, however, giving limitations on the guests with categories (i.e. everybody but straight guys are OK)

   It seems to me that such action of giving a tacit permission only to the guests mentioned above doesn’t make any sense, I believe. It is just a contradiction to what you said in the episode (you were very uneasy about forcing established gender norms to everyone in our society). Securing a cozy place for the sexual minorities-I fully agree with you. And Protecting your selected guests from lots of 아저씨’s with ogling eyes: no objection.

   I am not going to mention pros and cons on the issue of ‘the discriminations against sexual minorities’ nor do I want to raise straight 아저씨’s rights to enter into your café. (Also it is not for mentioning big human rights issues on ‘same-sex partnership’ in a national level.)

   Perhaps all this things including efforts, discussions, sharing ideas are useless without establishing natural legal environment and common understanding for the sexual minorities.

   Anyway, Thank you 소하

7. june May 13th, 2008 at 7:39 pm 7

   Hi, Mike and Jennnifer!

   This is my first comment.( I never do like this in English..hoooo-wa, but after i heard last episode,it was really fantastic, finally have a Guts(^^*) to make here Comment.

   It’s quite one of my favorite thing to hear your Episode every week. Also your meeting in 민토,, i really really wanted to join there..unfortunately,i’m not in Korea now..maybe next meeting in sommer, i really want to join that..

   Long,long unnecessary introdution..

   about this Episode..what you(3) did, really what korean society need.

   Last sommer, my real good Friend(boy) came out..(actually i already guessed many times)..

   i was quite really happy that he trusts me..
   but that makes me really sad what kind of ..and manymany problems he’ll have..

   anyway ,,so-ha and you 2 ..what you talked, … was really nice..Great JOBBB^^*

   Thanks…and i already count on your next episode..(in spite of my little,cute ENGLISH)

8. Jennifer May 14th, 2008 at 11:05 am 8

   Goose:
   I understand your point about how it would be nice if all people were welcome anywhere . . . but in the real world there still is a lot of discrimination. As long as it’s there, I think it’s fair to give people a safe place. If you think about it, in Korea there are lots of spaces for (straight) men only – room salons, massage parlors, and lots of other places don’t allow women (or gay men). And considering the position of straight men in both Korean and western societies, being in mixed space implicitly means playing by a particular set of rules. If you want out of that game, you’ve got to find a different place to play.
   June: welcome to the party^^
   I think that oftentimes we know or suspect our friends are queer long before they actually tell us. It would be fabulous if society were accepting enough that people weren’t afraid and didn’t feel the need to hide it even from people they’re close to.

9. AncientGoose May 14th, 2008 at 11:43 am 9

   Jennifer:

   Just one thing to add.

   I don’t want to be in the GAME (in a Korean society) nor do I want to be out of the GAME(in Hongdae area), thus the place to PLAY is not my concern, actually. (To me, your comment on my comment is somewhat suggesting that I was one of the 아저씨’s with ogling eyes loitering around cafes, but there’s many 아저씨’s who just want to UNDERSTAND and SHARE their ideas without any strereotypical thinkings and prejudices)

10. Jennifer May 14th, 2008 at 12:26 pm 10

    Please don’t take offense, I’m not accusing anyone of being an ogling 아저씨. All I’m saying is that there are plenty of places to interact and talk – including on this comment board – between men and women of all sexual orientations. There’s lots of ways to interact and understand and share experiences, and I hope we all do in fact work towards learning about and accepting one another. I’m just saying that sometimes it’s nice to be able to NOT be in a gender mixed space, for many, many reasons, and I don’t find it a bad thing that there are some bars where women can sit around with other women. There are spaces that are mixed and spaces that are not and ways in which people interact in different settings is different. Sometimes a single sex environment liberates people from behaviors and standards that are expected in other situations, and that makes it an important place for many women and men, psychologically as well as physically.
    And also, for lesbians . . . well, if you’re going out to meet potential dates, isn’t having men around a bit superfluous?^.~ It would be like a straight man hanging out at a bar where only other men gather – you might meet a lot of cool people, but it’s not the target audience.

11. AncientGoose May 14th, 2008 at 12:45 pm 11

    

12. Jim May 14th, 2008 at 11:54 pm 12

    I just want to say something about “gaydar.” I think sometimes a lack of it is almost more polite than the existance of it. I knew this one guy who said he wasn’t gay but really acted the part, still everyone around him wanted him to say he was gay. Weather or not he was gay wasn’t the issue for me, it was the fact that people wouldn’t leave him alone about it. If he was gay I wouldn’t have cared. I was his roommate, and I have to say, he kept the room in excuisite condition. If he was straight, I would like other people to try and broaden their minds a bit to see that effeminate behaviour does not necissarily equal homosexual attraction. Yet for people like that it has to be incredibly hard to deal with people who insist on outing them every chance they get.

    Anyway it was a great show and that bar sounds like a fun place, I’m dissapointed I can’t go, but then again Korea doesn’t exactly lack for places to drink.

13. Jim May 14th, 2008 at 11:56 pm 13

    One more thing, I would like to come out of the national closet as an American who lives in Korea, I don’t know where they Australian flag is comming from.

14. Jennifer May 15th, 2008 at 2:24 pm 14

    Ah, gaydar is usually used just for the idea that people can “sense” when a person is gay. But just because you suspect someone may be gay doesn’t mean:
    a) you’re right
    b) they have to tell you
    c) you have the right to “out” them
    As I said before, I don’t think that “effeminate” behavior is necessarily a sign that someone is gay, especially since gender roles are not something universally agreed on. Whatever the case, it’s most important to just appreciate our friends and the people around us as people first. Harassing people for whatever reason is just rude.
    As for the flags . . . they’re not always accurate, something over which we have pretty much no direct control.

15. easy May 16th, 2008 at 2:38 pm 15

    I guess turning that “gaydar” on could sometimes help. There was a time when a Korean I know was ranting about how he hates gays to his English teacher without knowing that the teacher was actually gay. It was just so disrespectful and degrading. This is more on accepting them, respecting them and recognizing them as part of the society. If we think about it, there are actually many successful gays and lesbians in different fields, might be in entertainment, business, medicine, education, etc… — more successful that any one “not gay or lesbian.”

    And…there is this Korean show called “”Coming out” hosted by Hong Sul Chun, who is a homosexual himself. I don’t know much about this though. I have heard about this from a friend.

    http://www.queerty.com/gay-koreans-coming-out-on-telly-20080414/

16. Jennifer May 16th, 2008 at 4:20 pm 16

    Man, I wish I had cable. Or a TV, for that matter. I would like to check it out. There’s a lot more gay people running around and gay culture than most Koreans seem to think, and Hong had done a great deal to help counter this perception.

17. easy May 27th, 2008 at 6:52 pm 17

    http://www.hankyung.com/news/app/newsview.php?aid=2008052634137

    found this in dramabeans.

    (http://www.dramabeans.com/2008/05/news-bites-may-26-2008/) -thanks

18. Jennifer May 28th, 2008 at 12:06 am 18

    wow, best wishes to the happy couple!

19. Being Gay in Korea — Social Issues in Korea July 28th, 2008 at 9:32 am 19

    [...] also like you to listen to this interview about being gay in Korea, which is an interview I and a colleague conducted for an online show we produce. The transcript is [...]

20. SSG John Lapp July 28th, 2008 at 11:50 am 20

    I have a question about the Korean school system. Are all high schools male or female only or do they have mixed schools? If all schools are uni sex then this would explain a lot of how males interact with each other. If you take any society and isolate each sex from each other during their teenage years, you would see more experimentation and expectance of males holding hands and such.

    Do to this isolation is there a lower % of teenage sex, and underage pregnancies? I know in the U.S. teenage sex is out of control and seems to be getting worse every year. Being in the military and working with Katusas I observed a lot of what I would perceive as “homo” acts. This did throw a lot of US Soldiers off. But I accepted it as part of their society and became comfortable with it. Does these acts of male on male affection decrees as they grow older?

21. heyo September 24th, 2008 at 3:35 pm 21

    Hello It was interesting! I like it

    I’ve known that korea has lesbians, Why not?
    I can accept them- I think we should do- and at least, we should try to protect them. They have right to enjoy happiness like we do. Society can’t deprive their own right. that’s ridiculous!
    aw, It’s just my opinion :p Anyway, i knew youguys would talk about strange touch between the same sex you know I do, too but I’m not a lesbian
    I suppose youguys know it’s just korean culture
    Isn’t it interesting? I’m wondering why we have different thoughts in this stuff ‘ -’

22. E R Kim July 7th, 2009 at 10:59 pm 22

    Hi Jennifer and Michael – this comment is very out of date but I could not locate the contact form on the site. I am a Korean lesbian living in New Zealand and I have never been able to make contact with any koreans who identify as gay or lesbian.

    I am so grateful that you have approached this issue. I cannot describe the feeling that I get from the vocalised recognition that there are gay and lesbian koreans who -live as- gays and lesbians. I know they exist (mostly on the basis that “there are MILLIONS of koreans; some of them have GOT to be gay?!”) – but I have never heard their voices, or seen their faces. Hearing So Ha talking about her experiences represented a huge step for me, towards maybe one day being able to return to a country I had always seen as threatening because of my sexuality.

    So, thanks.